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Tuesday, January 30, 2024

People that would make a good Barbie

I found a list of Barbie dolls that were either done up in the famous person's likeness or were inspired by the person.  As an aside, if I were Laverne Cox I wouldn't be thrilled with that particular Barbie; the actual person is quite pretty in the face, and the doll...I'm not a fan of her face.  Her lips look kinda Botoxy.  Anyway, that list is in no way comprehensive (Andy Warhol Barbie didn't make it on the list), but it gives y'all an idea of what Mattel has done in the past.  <elaborate>  I'm going through all this in alphabetical order, according to the person's last name.  Some of them made a difference, or tried to make a difference, or are still making a difference in the world.  Some of the others are...well, entertainers.  As with all of my posts, the opinions presented are solely my own.  Respectful dissent is welcome.

JULIE ANDREWS
I am NOT a fan of The Sound of Music, but let's face it:  that opening scene is pretty iconic.  Further, I know plenty of Barbie fans who freaking love this movie.

Admit it, she looks a little like Barbie in that scene.  Ironically, Mama loves The Sound of Music, but she hates Julie's hair in the flick.  Oh well, can't please everyone.  By the way, I guess I am stretching it a bit with this first one, since Barbie has been Mary Poppins, and who do you picture when you think of Mary Poppins???  No one else but Julie Andrews.  I always love it when our dear Barbie is a brunette!

Heck, I may own this overly saccharine nanny myself, crammed into a too-tight gemini dress.  Nope, not a Mary Poppins fan either, but I bear Julie Andrews no ill will.  I hate it that she can't sing anymore.

JOSEPHINE BAKER
Crazy Josephine Baker, who could dance like you wouldn't believe. 

I view Ms. Josephine as an inspiration for both black people and Missourians, as she was originally from St. Louis and had to live during a time when Afro-Americans were not treated well.  Oh Lordy, did she rise to the challenge!  Even today, long after her death, there are folks who love to watch her dance (including me, LOL).  Integrity Toys and Madame Alexander have both immortalized the banana dancer as a doll...

...and there are plenty of customized dolls out there, but Mattel has not yet immortalized Barbie as a friend or as an honest-to-God Barbie.  Not that I know of, anyway.  She'd make a fun addition, I think...at least for adult collectors.  That banana skirt isn't really appropriate for kids.  

AMELIA BLOOMER
The lady who invented bloomers!  Amelia Bloomer was, among other things, a dress reformer who wanted more comfortable clothes for women of the early Victorian era.  Her efforts were NOT a success, but she gave it a shot.
I've worn short bloomers meself on a couple'a occasions.  One does not venture outside in the springtime without something under one's peasant skirt, at least not in the Bootheel, LOL.  Madame Alexander DID make a doll in Ms. Bloomer's likeness, and she was wicked cute.  But as far as I know Mattel has not.  Here's the Alexander doll; Bertha Alexander was a feminist, so Amelia's addition to the lineup was no surprise to me.  Isn't she adorable???
True, Amelia Bloomer isn't as well-known in women's' rights history as folks like Susan B. Anthony, but she gave comfortable women's clothes the old college try, and for that alone I think she's worth remembering.  Poor ol' Ms. Bloomer's ideas were NOT received well in her day, by the way!  Y'know how folks always react to anything that's ahead of its time.  But she gave it a go, and I tip my hat to her for that.  She'd make a cute Barbie.

HARRISON FORD
Who doesn't love Harrison Ford?
Okay, okay, there are undoubtedly folks in this world who can't stand the guy.  LOL, I'm a little biased because I like what little I've seen of the Indiana Jones series, but hell, if Mattel can do stupid James Bond and his merry band of trollops then surely they can do Indy as well.  Barbie could tag along too, since Indiana Jones always seems to have a dame with him (just like 007 does, I'll admit it).  Or hey, how about Star Wars???  Mattel did a line of Star Wars-themed Barbie dolls...
...but they're not the actual characters.  I do love that R2-D2 doll, though.  Here's a better look at the Darth Vader girl; LOL, these are awesome!
But like I said, they're not the actual characters, AND Ken got left out!  Luke Skywalker and Han Solo BOTH got left out, but Princess Leia got included???  That kinda stinks.  But as usual, I'm getting off the subject.  I don't know about y'all, but I need a plastic Harrison Ford in my collection.

WINNIE HARLOW
Mattel has been hitting the diversity thing hard during the past decade, and two of their Fashionistas (#135 and #192) have been dolls with vitiligo.  I own #135, whom I named Chantelle.
"Chantelle" is the name of model Winnie Harlow, a young woman with vitiligo who has overcome intense adversity to become a fashion model.  The girl is drop-dead gorgeous.

C'mon, can't y'all see her as Barbie?  She'd make a nice edition to the Inspirational Women line, especially since she's promoting awareness about vitiligo.  I even learned something from her!  I learned (and should've known) that skin cancer can be a real problem for folks with vitiligo, because those pale areas produce ZERO melanin to protect the underlayers of skin.  Ms. Harlow is working to combat that with her own line of sunblock.  Skin cancer is a terrible way to go, so I applaud Ms. Harlow for her efforts there.  Bottom line, I like this lady and would love to see her immortalized in plastic.

SHARON ROONEY
Actress Sharon Rooney technically IS a Barbie doll, as she played Lawyer Barbie in that crazy movie.  She's the heavyset brunette in blue, directly to Margot Robbie's right.
I freaking love this gal's expressions.
WHYYYY wasn't Lawyer Barbie made into a doll???  She'd have given Mattel an opportunity to add another curvy girl to the lineup.  For that matter, why weren't ALL the dolls in that scene made into actual dolls???  They're all cute girls who'd make good dolls, including the nonchalant blonde on far right who appears unaware of Stereotypical Barbie's predicament.  Anyway, this article by Grazia notes that plenty of the dolls in the movie have at least a close lookalike...except for Sharon Rooney's doll.  Grazia notes that the closest thing to Lawyer Barbie is this one.
LOL, I wanted this doll so bad when she was available!  Only problem is that that doll is based on another actress, the one and only Reese Witherspoon, who doesn't look a thing like Sharon Rooney.  Like Winnie Harlow, Ms. Rooney has experienced anxieties about how she looked, but she's managed to put that aside for the silver screen.  Overall I think she's cool.  She'd make a good Barbie.

DUCKIE THOT
I've spoken of my fondness for Ms. Thot in the past, and I've even seen Barbie dolls that bear a passing resemblance to the model.  I even named Fashionista #90 "Duckie."
My doll unfortunately suffers from bubblegum lip syndrome, but her eye makeup is to die for.  The real Duckie isn't always that made up, but she's still a knockout, AND she isn't wearing revolting pink lipstick.
Duckie falls under a similar category as Winnie Harlow, in that she is a model and is a little out-of-the-ordinary.  She's very, VERY dark-skinned, and as such I bet it's hard to find the perfect makeup for her!  But oh man, does that gal manage and manage well!  Make her into a Barbie, Mattel!!!  In that orange dress!  Or in purple, or in red.  Hell, any color would do!

ANY OF THE GUYS PLAYING KEN IN THE MOVIE
Well, any of 'em except Ryan Gosling.  He got his own doll.  LOL, poor ol' Ken had several occupations during the movie, but they were all essentially labelled as "just Ken."  Simu Liu apparently did too; here's his doll.  Jeez, I HATE TRACKSUITS!!!  This Ken looks pretty fly, but I still hate tracksuits.
I think Simu Liu looks better than the doll, actually.  Moving on, Kingsley Ben-Adir.  Hot, well-dressed, big smile...he kinda reminds me of my pediatrician.  I have only a hazy memory of Dr. Chan, and Mama says I was afraid of him, but I remember him having a big smile like Mr. Ben-Adir does.  This gentleman plays Basketball Ken.
Ncuti Gatwa.  HELLOOOOOOOOO, MAKE THIS GUY INTO A KEN DOLL!  I admit that I'm a hair biased in this case because this gentleman is now our beloved Doctor, but even if he weren't buzzing around in the TARDIS I'd still want this character as a doll.  Mr. Gatwa played Artist Ken...with a guitar.  And a red cowboy hat.
Deep breath, Moon Girl.  Keep the fangirling to a minimum...BUT MAKE THIS GUY INTO A KEN DOLL!!!  <lets deep breath out> Hot as Gatwa is, he may have to take second-fiddle to Scott Evans.  He's Stereotypical Ken, and he's...well, to quote one of my high school friends, dayum, he fine!
Wait a minute...THIS is Stereotypical Ken?  I thought Ryan Gosling was Stereotypical Ken, seeing as he's dating Stereotypical Barbie.  LOL, can y'all tell I haven't seen the flick yet?  But yeah, a bunch of the girl characters and the main two characters got their own doll, but not the side Kens, or most of the side Barbies either.  Folks who have seen the movie, please tell me:  are these guys truly sidepieces in the flick, or did they get good-sized side parts?  I'd love to know.

Oh yeah, there's also Kenmaid, A.K.A. John Cena.  I can only provide links to GIFs and a Reddit thread, but...yeah, the professional wrestler had a bit part as a mermaid Ken, and he apparently begged shamelessly for the part.  It was just a cameo, but as my dad once said, there are small actors but not small parts.  I'd like to see him as a doll just for the comedy of it!  A couple'a folks have made their own custom Kenmaids out of Fashionista #138, but I kinda like my Arlo the way he is.  Here's my Arlo with his girlfriend Violet; I kinda see the resemblance to John Cena there, especially in the chin.
Pardon the reused picture.  I've only photographed Arlo a handful of times.

I would've also included the folks that play Allan and Midge, but they already ARE dolls.  They were dating in the sixties, marrying in 1991, and welcoming their second child by 1999.  I don't know if we'll ever see Allan/Alan as a doll again, but Midge still pops in to say hello every now and then.  Her most recent foray into Barbie's world was in 2012, with the Dreamhouse bunch.  Again, pardon the reused image.
Y'all know that if I have an opportunity to own a Steffie face I take said opportunity.  But anywho, that's why I didn't include Michael Cera and Emerald Fennell in my list.  Nothing personal against them.

I know there are other folks that I've said would make a good Barbie, but of course I've forgotten who all they were.  And I know I'm kinda pushing it with Harrison Ford, though I stand by my opinion that Indiana Jones would make a good theme for a doll line.  So now I turn to y'all, my dear readers.  Who, if anyone, would y'all like to see immortalized as a Barbie or a Ken?  Or do y'all think I'm batsh!t crazy, in which case you'd be right?  Discuss.

Cheers,
RagingMoon1987

3 comments:

  1. I have that Kenshionista too, haha. Kens I tend to only get if they have rooted hair, so my collection of boys is shamefully small. There's mine (affectionately known hereabouts as "Hairball Ken"), currently palling around with one of the BTS boys. I have another rooted Fashionista *in need* of a body (the brunette guy with the undercut), and they're accompanied by one of the Fresh Squad guys who I always call Khalil but I distinctly remember that's not his canon name. And of course Movie Ken.

    There's also a vintage Allan and Ken (who reminds me very strongly of Bobby Darrin in the looks department) awaiting restoration so they can hook back up with their same-decade Barbie and Midge counterparts. They're this year's big project.

    Indiana Jones would make a great addition, but I think he falls under the purview of companies like Mego, Neca and other collectibles creators. So, more "action figure" than fashion doll. Sad, because the female leads had some of the best costumes, too.

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    1. Yeah, I figured that Indiana Jones would do better in the "action figure" category, but then so would James Bond, and he got made into a Barbie doll...much to my chagrin. LOL, can't wait to see your bunch all fixed up!

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    2. Bond does wear a suit, he makes a solid candidate for a collector Ken. And I'd nominate Grace Jones for Barbie status any day!

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