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Saturday, February 15, 2014

My favorite actress...sort of

This ties in with my previous post somewhat; in that one I went over my fondness for Sleeping Beauty dolls in obsessive detail.  This time I'm going to discuss one of my favorite actresses who, for the lack of a better term, was a complete and total bitch.  Yes, the conservative Christian girl said "bitch."  Sue me.  Anyway, being a mortuary student has given me a fondness for the dark and the macabre, and frankly I always had that fondness to begin with.  It may be for that reason that I chose Joan Crawford as one of my favorite movie stars (Blue Oyster Cult also had a hand in it).  The only one of movies that I can name that fits the "dark and macabre" bill is "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane," but that's no biggie because Joan's personal life makes up for that...and it makes "Baby Jane" look like a walk in the woods!  If you don't know what I'm getting at, read daughter Christina's book "Mommie Dearest," or watch the movie it's based on (or both).  You'll understand then.  Yeah, I know some folks say that Christina's book is full of baloney, but I believe her.  Joan had that insane look that only a child-beater would.  And if you look at pictures of Joan and Christina together, you might notice that Christina's smile usually looks forced.

Enough backstory.  Apparently Joan was glamorous enough to be immortalized in doll form.  I'm only now finding this out, and I think that she's a very...well, a very interesting and original choice.  With all the Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe dolls out there, it's always refreshing to see a new face.  And which company was the brainchild behind this?  Well, I know of two.  There's Tonner, of course.  Tonner opted to catch Joan's glamorous side.
These are just two of the dolls Tonner made in Joan's likeness; there were several others, all of which can be viewed in the website's archives.  The one in purple is titled "Woman of Passion," while the one in white is appropriately named "Devil in White."  They are sixteen inches, the same height as Briar Rose, Aurora, and my Cami.  Check out "Devil's" face:
Not bad!  She's pretty like the real person, and she also looks slightly possessed.  She doesn't look as crazed as Joan herself did, but in all honesty it would be impossible to get a doll that insane looking.  I'd have one of these in a heartbeat.  Heck, Tonner even made some extra outfits for good ol' Mommie Dearest.  This one is my favorite; it's called "Jungle Red."
Tonner's Joan Crawford dolls are very, VERY nice, but they may have to step aside.  Lord have mercy, no one ever would've told that to the real Joan!  LOL, anyway, two days ago I saw THIS advertised on Pat's Potpourri.
NO WIRE HANGERS!  EVER!!!!!!  Yep, the doll is a 2013 release from Integrity Toys, and she is appropriately named "Mommie Dearest."  This particular doll is a little taller than Barbie at twelve inches, and is advertised by Pat's as compatible with Poppy Parker and Integrity's other twelve-inch dolls.  "Wait a minute," you're no doubt saying.  "She keeps saying 'this doll' when there are clearly two."  Actually...no.  There is one doll with two outfits and TWO HEADS!!!  The heads are switchable, designed to pop off of the neck knob with a reasonable amount of force.  There's Bad Joan, primped and pretty, ready for her closeup...
...and Worse Joan, ready to beat the snot out of Christina!
Seriously, one of her accessories is a wire hanger!  That's downright freaky.

Apparently Joan Crawford is not a popular subject for the doll world, because these were the only ones I could find.  But the two that I did find are from highly reputed doll companies, so I'm not going to complain.  I don't know if I'll ever land one of the Tonner dolls since they've been out of stock for awhile, but Pat's Potpourri still has the Mommie Dearest doll available.  I may rue this decision, but I'm going to try to wait until the middle of the year (June or July, probably) to buy another doll.  Cami and Ana Ming were not cheap, so I'm going to hold off and see what happens.

Hugs, kisses, and cookies,


  1. Good luck getting your Joan Crawford doll! I think the IT version looks more interesting. And she looks as though she would and cold use a wire clothes rack ;-P

    1. LOL, she's the perfect size to terrorize my Barbie dolls!