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Thursday, November 23, 2023

Gonna hitch a ride...

The older I get the more depressing Thanksgiving is.  When I was young the dining room table was bursting at the seams.  At our biggest gathering there was...hmm...my maternal grandparents, both my uncles, Mama, Daddy, my sister and me, my grouchy great-aunt who loved dolls, and my aunt on my daddy's side.  <pauses to count>  That's ten of us, enuff that Aunt on Daddy's Side, Sister, and I all had to sit at the card table.  During meal prep Uncle from St. Louis took us kids over to the school playground to keep us out of the kitchen, and true to stereotypical fashion the women cooked and the men did nothing.  But it was a good Thanksgiving, warm and filled with love and delicious food.  Nowadays with a lot of the adults being deceased and us kids being grown, well...y'know.  Sister, Brother-in-Law, and Uncle From St. Louis all elected not to battle the traffic and the weather, so this year it's Mama, Uncle Man-Child, and me.  Mama and I did all the cooking and all the cleaning, while Uncle Man-Child sat on his a$$, asked stupid questions, and told stupid half-truths about himself.  I couldn't say a word to Mama, even in a whisper, without him demanding to be included in the conversation.  And this guy is a few years shy of seventy!  You'd think he was still thirteen!  I suggested to Mama that we just skip Thanksgiving this year, but she wouldn't hear of it, so here we are.  Add to that the fact that I had to bury another cat this past weekend, and you've got one sad Moon Girl. 

Yep, another cat.  Week before last it was Lola, and last weekend it was Edgar, one of my mom's cats.  Edgar was solid black, and that earned him the name "Edgar," after Edgar Allan Poe.  My aunt found him at the bank when he was just a kitten, and he was a knucklehead from the word "go."  Before he was a year old he'd swan-dived off our kitchen table and broken his foot, and we had to doctor him through that.  Three weeks in a cast and in a cage, three more without the cast but still in a cage...I don't know who hated it more, him or us!  The foot healed at a slight angle and Edgar limped on it a tiny bit, but he didn't let it slow him down.  He lived to be twelve, insisted on going outside a lot even if it was raining, and last Friday night it apparently caught up with him.  I found him the next morning in a neighbor's yard.  He didn't have an outward mark on him, no blood or cuts or anything, but his spine was twisted in a way that spines are not supposed to twist, and his pelvic area was flattened a bit.  Based on that I believe that he was hit by a car and managed to drag himself out of the road before dying.  Sigh...we knew that was a possibility when he went outside, but if you've ever owned a cat then you know how difficult it can be to keep them inside.  Mama's other two cats couldn't care less about going out, but Edgar had to be the oddball.  He was always the oddball, the one who liked to run around like a wild ape, the one who wanted to be the first to the food, the one who liked to lie on his back so the sun could warm his belly.  I have a picture of him doing that.
He loved the sun.  That may have been the reason why he liked going outside; when the A/C ran in the summertime it would get cold in the house, so he went where it was warm.  Then going outside became a habit, and that was that.  We see how it ended, but thank God, I at least know what happened to him and I was able to bury him properly.  He didn't disappear into thin air like a friend's cat did recently.  But it still hurt.

All that has culminated in me being unusually depressed, and unlike times in the past I can't seem to shake it.  Even playing with my dolls has brought me little pleasure, but I do it anyway.  As always, my doll is Rita Cheryl, and today she is...decidedly oddly dressed, much more so than she was last Thanksgiving.
Pandas, Boston and Doctor Who.  What a combo.  Anyway, it's warmer today than it was at the beginning of the week, so Rita Cheryl did a little traipsing around in Grandma's backyard.  She isn't as young as Camille and thus didn't dream up a ton of imaginary games, but she did find a nice hiding place.
She also found a nice pinecone.  Dern thing was sharp, though!
I will admit that while Thanksgiving leaves me feeling melancholy, it's still a helluva lot better than this past summer, when things were so cotton-pickin' hot.  Probably by the time April rolls around I'll be longing for thunderstorms, LOL.  Right now I'm just tired and overwhelmed.  I'm ready for the mold to be gone from my house, ready for the water to be back on at Mama's, ready for spring...time for a nap!  Don't wait up!

Love, 
RagingMoon1987 

10 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you're so depressed. I have been having the same thing. It's hard, and some people don't understand. And I can relate about wanting to get back to your house! We should be going back soon, but there will be a lot of hard work ahead of us when we do get back. I hope you get home soon and can get in a better state of mind.

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    1. I keep forgetting that you're out of your house too! Mercy, I hear you on having a ton of work to do, with mold and pets and clutter and God knows what! Now that Thanksgiving is over I feel better; it wasn't much fun staring at a table of food and only three of us to eat it. But we made the best of it.

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  2. I'm sorry you've been going through so much heartache lately. Holidays are always tough for those of us who have lost loved ones, because it's so much easier to be consciously aware of who's missing from our family gatherings. And I know the pain of losing a beloved pet can run just as deep as the pain of losing a human family member. I hope you find comfort and healing soon.
    By the way, Rita Cheryl's Tardis socks are 'wicked cool'.
    Signed, Treesa

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    1. LOL, Doctor Who for the win! I got those off of Etsy.

      Thanks for the words of encouragement; life's just...overwhelming right now. Thank goodness no one else is sick. The animals are holding strong and we're holding up as well. Now that Thanksgiving is out of the way I can focus on helping Mama decorate the library for Christmas. That's hard work, but it's worth it.

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  3. Oh dear my dear, I am sorry you have been down in the dumps. I understand how there are times when one can feel that way, but you must try and stay positive nevertheless. I lost my dad on Christmas day and although I always miss him, Christmas is no longer quite the same without him there.
    Keep your chin up old girl, things will work out in the end.
    Big, big hugs,
    X

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    1. Oh wow...I know a buddy who lost her dad on Christmas Day too. His farm equipment turned over on him. I feel you about staying positive. It's not always easy, but it can be done.

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  4. Oh, Moon, Sweetie, I am SO sorry about the loss of Edgar (and your other kitty). It is so hard to lose and mourn a furbaby. I understand about being depressed too--I get it from the change of seasons, and it is so incredibly hard to shake. Sending you best wishes, hugs, and positive vibes.

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    1. Thank you! Right now I'm just glad that the local dogs haven't tried to dig Edgar and Lola up. That happened to another cat that I lost and buried once. Folks two blocks over heard me scream, LOL.

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  5. Such a handsome gent, and obviously knew how to work it for photos. All my cats have been black ones; the elder gent left us back in 2020. You wish they could live forever, and they don't of course, but I like to think they come back to us in other cats down the road.

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    1. I wonder! Some of 'em do act a lot like cats I once had!

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