What's in a name?

I like names.  I like human names, I like hurricane names, I like doll names, and I especially love looking at Cabbage Patch Kid names.  I've got some nice combinations in my collection, like Owen Presley and Cleopatra Chantale (yes, I've gotten compliments on that one), and then I've heard some humdingers, like Charlene Darlene, Karissa Larissa, and my new favorite, Bunnie Candie.  I couldn't resist bringing Bunnie Candie home, by the way; she's a little Preemie.

No joke, that's legit her name.

Bunnie Candie...that's arguably the dumbest one yet.  I think it sounds like a euphemism for rabbit turds, and another lady on Failbook says it sounds like a stripper's name!  Not to mention that Bunnie looks just like Cara Raelean and Stella Rae, but that's beside the point.  I love dolly names...and when you have as many as I do then you see repeats.  Commonly used names like Jane, Sally, and Susie pop up a lot, and today I'm going to TRY to count how many Susies I've heard of.  I own at least three myself.  I'm gonna try to go in chronological order.

SUSIE WALKER

COMPANY:  Reliable
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1954-1957

I presume that this Susie was a rival to the then-popular Saucy Walker.  The gimmick is the same, the material is the same, and the dolls even look a bit alike in the face.  Reliable often did that, did copies of other dolls that were good sellers.  Heck, all companies did that, and still do!  This one's got a sweet face, but some of the others I've seen look a little possessed.

SUZY WALKER TAKES A TRIP

COMPANY:  Unknown
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1950s or 60s

I wasn't able to find much information on this doll other than a couple'a pictures and a listing each on eBay and on Etsy.  From what I can tell Suzy is a small hard plastic walker with sleep eyes and a cute outfit.  Her eyes freak me out a little, but this one pictured has hair to die for.

SUZY PLAYPAL

COMPANY:  Ideal
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1959-1960

A member of the Patti Playpal family, Suzy is a big doll, at 28 inches.  She's my favorite of the Playpal bunch because she has a sweet little face.  Alas, I have no room!  With the entry of my animals to Casa Pizarro I've had to put away most of the dolls I do have, thanks to Tommy's lousy little nails.  But Suzy Playpal is still a favorite of mine.

SUZY CUTE

COMPANY:  Topper
YEAR OF PRODUCTION:  1964

I think Suzy Cute was one of the first baby dolls I reviewed in full.  I haven't done much with her since, but she's still loved and valued.  I admit that Suzy's catchy commercial was what gave me the gimmies.  Louis Armstrong was in it, for crying out loud!  I freaking love Louis Armstrong.  And true to her name, Suzy is pretty cute.  I love her smile, with her little baby teeth showing.  It's also worth noting that Suzy Cute's name is a play on "Susie-Q."  I counted plenty of dolls with that moniker, far more than could be listed here.

SUSIE SAD-EYES

COMPANY:  Various
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1960s and 70s

I found my other Susie Sad-Eyes!  She was on my roll-top desk with my ball-jointed dolls...and a large accumulation of other crap.  This Susie is pretty much "what you see is what you get."  She's a hollow plastic doll with big sad eyes and overall serious expressions, and some of 'em add to the drama with sallow circles under their eyes.  Susie Sad-Eyes goes by many other names, some of which incorporate the name "Susie" and some of which do not, but for the most part she's the same doll.

SUSIE SCRIBBLES

COMPANY:  Wonderama Toys
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1987

This Susie could write and draw, though being a doll, her work does indeed look like the scribbles of a young child.  Thank goodness she writes on paper, not in books or on the wall.  My sister drew on her bedroom wall one time, and I never did find out what possessed her to do such a thing.  We'd been told from the word "go" NOT to draw on walls.  Oh nelly, did my sister get a spanking for that one!  But Susie Scribbles is a good girl.  Give her some paper, some fresh batteries, and her cassette tape, and she's good to go.

SO SURPRISED SUZIE

COMPANY:  Galoob
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1990-1991

This Suzie is...kinda the poster child for the Baby Face line, and she's also the easiest of the Baby Face dolls to find.  Never mind, I was glad of that, as it meant it was easier to replace my childhood friend.  All of the Baby Face dolls had kid-friendly, easy to remember names, stuff like Natalie, Sarah, Louise, Brooke, stuff like that.  There was a Sally in the mix too, and I may have to do a post like this for the Sally dolls that I know.  But of all my Susies, and of all my dolls in general, Suzie is...well, I won't say she's the absolute biggest character, but she's in the running.

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Talk to the hand.  Maybe she should've been So Sassy Suzie instead of So Surprised Suzie. 

SURPRISE HAT SUSIE

COMPANY:  Tyco
YEAR OF PRODUCTION:  1995

Susie falls under the "glitzy toddler doll" category and got a brief mention in a recent post.  Her gimmick is simple and pretty cute:  under her nineties-style hat she conceals hair in one of four color combinations, so she's sort of like a blind box before blind boxes came into style.  Otherwise Susie is pretty basic, with five rotating joints and an outfit that...I guess was in style in 1995.  I've always been about as stylish as a railroad tie, so I wouldn't know.

SUSIE

COMPANY:  R&D
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  2003-present day

Yep, this one's just plain Susie.  I THINK Susie is still being made!  This Susie is Barbie-sized and has a drop-dead gorgeous face.  I loved this doll from the minute I saw her in Haute Doll, years and years ago.  Susie is Barbie-sized but is a smidge slimmer and...at the time she had more joints than Barbie, though I think the Made to Move bunch could give her a run for her money.  I freaking love this doll, though.

SUSIE SOFT SOUNDS

COMPANY:  Fisher Price
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1979

This doll's smaller sister recently popped into my "weird dolls" post, though I don't think she's that weird.  Like Baby Soft Sounds Susie makes baby noises, and if what I've read is true then she's motion-activated...kinda like some of the obnoxious decorations my family had at Halloween and at Christmas.  You could turn 'em off, and you could even take out the batteries, but from time to time they'd still go off.  That gave us quite a turn more than once, especially when the item went off at night.  Same sort of thing with this Susie.

SUZY SNAPSHOT

COMPANY:  Galoob 

YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1991

Good ol' Galoob!  Suzy Snapshot belongs soundly in the glitzy toddler doll category, but I didn't think to take screenshots of her commercial until after I'd put that post up.  Funny, I remembered to screenshot Twist 'n' Style Tiffany's commercial, but not Suzy Snapshot's.  Anyway, Suzy is attached to a little camera, and as the lens is "focused" she can change the positions of her arms and upper body, not terribly unlike Fashion Photo Barbie and her buddies.  Unlike the other glitzy toddler dolls that I've seen, I think Suzy was legit supposed to be a child model; the others, I'm fairly certain, are just playing dress-up.  Or that's the way I choose to look at it.  

SUSIE STRETCH

COMPANY:  Irwin Toys,

YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1995

This Suzie reminds me of a semi-life-sized Betty Spaghetty.  She had long arms and legs that could stretch until the doll's overall height was about five feet.  She also had a sleeping and an awake face, she was good for cuddles, and that's...about it on a stick.  I'd have liked her; I love things that can stretch.

SUSI

COMPANY:  Estrela 
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1966-current day

From what I've read Susi is alive and well in her home country of Brazil.  Having looked at pictures of the vintage doll, I figure that she's based either off Ideal's Tammy, Pedigree's Sindy, or both because she looks a lot like both of 'em.  She doesn't now, LOL!  But indeed, the original Susi was indeed modelled after Tammy, only gaining inset eyes in 1969.  I usually like dolls with inset eyes, but in this case I prefer the painted eyes, as the inset eyes are a bit large for Susi's head.  Still, a fifty-nine-year run is not to be sneezed at in the doll world.  A run that length puts Susi in a league with Barbie and Licca-chan.

SUSIE SO SMART

COMPANY:  DSI Toys

YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  2001

This Susie was similar to Julie (1980s) and Amazing Amy and her bunch in that she could interact with her toys.  If she said she was hungry, you gave her her cookie.  If she was thirsty, she wanted her sippy cup.  And if she was in the mood to make some noise she had a harmonica.  A harmonica, of all things!  The appropriate noises accompanied all three accessories...and as far as I know that's the extent of it.  Susie wasn't as verbose as Julie or Amy, but she did enuff to keep one occupied.

SUSIE SOUR STRAW

COMPANY:  the one and only MGA Entertainment
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  2024-present day

This young lady is one of the Yummiland Lip Gloss dolls that's currently in stores.  These are not to be confused with THIS Yummi-Land, yet another MGA doll...and come to think of it, my old Yummi-Land doll has a pet named Susie!  I like these, with their bright colors and translucent hair.  As many of these dolls as there are a Susie of some variant was inevitable, but at least she's cute.  I love green and pink together.  And speaking of Yummi-Land...

SUSIE STRAWBELLA

COMPANY:  MGA Entertainment again!
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  2006-2008

Susie was one of the debut Soda Pop Girls.  Remember that my Betsy Bubblegum was an Ice Cream Pop doll.  Anywho, Susie appeared in several items of media for the Yummi-Land line, and also as a styling head, but her debut doll was her only doll.  I kinda wish I'd picked this one instead of Betsy; her coloring is great from what I can tell.

That's nowhere NEAR a comprehensive list of the dolls in this world named some variant of Susie, but y'all get my drift.  It's an easy name to remember, an easy name to say and spell, and thus it loans itself well to dolls.  Do any of y'all have any favorites that I missed?

Cheers,
RagingMoon1987

I know I've said this before, but...

...there ain't no mama like the one I got!  She got me a Tiny Tears doll!

Truth be told, Tiny Tears is as much for Mama as she is for me.  Mama owned a doll similar to Tiny when she was a child (possibly Kathy Cry Baby, as her doll's name was "Kathy"), so she has a fondness for this doll.  Plus, she and I have both been a mite unhappy lately; we both are in a fair amount of pain, I from my hip/fibroids/what-have-you, she from her sciatica, and we're both sick to death of it.  So Tiny has been something of a morale booster for the both of us.  Anyway, the early examples of Tiny Tears had plastic heads), while later versions have vinyl heads.  My doll has a hard plastic head, and it's both hard as a rock and pale as a ghost.  Her body is soft and pink.

Tiny Tears came in several different hair colors, with my particular doll having strawberry blonde hair.  That pleases me greatly, though I'd have taken whatever came.

Tiny is very pale in the face, and she has the same unusual hairline that Tam's doll does, despite having a hard head.

Very unusual.  I'd love to have seen this doll's manufacturing process.  

Unfortunately, dolls and other items are sometimes shipped in packing peanuts, and that was the case with Tiny Tears. 

As I've said before, the Doctor has the Daleks, and I have packing peanuts.  I hate these darned things!  Packing peanuts aside, Tiny Tears was not expected, but she's welcome and already very loved.  I hope Mama knows how I love her.

Cheers,
RagingMoon1987 

Annabelle claims a victim...possibly

Got the news this morning from KFVS, and oh nelly, is this one a doll-related doozy of a story!  Just about everyone that I know is familiar with Annabelle, a doll that is supposedly possessed.  Indeed, I've gotten more jokes about Annabelle than I care to admit.  For the record, the real Annabelle does not look like the little psycho in the movies.

No, and I think that's what makes her even more creepy.  On the surface Annabelle is...an ordinary Raggedy Ann doll!

I knew Annabelle was real, but I didn't know she was a Raggedy Ann doll!  Anyway, a paranormal expert from New England was touring with Annabelle, which to me sounds like an incredibly dumb thing to do, and apparently Annabelle agrees.  The paranormal expert, a gentleman named Dan Rivera, died suddenly during this tour.  The medical experts don't know why yet, but the timing is...kinda creepy.  I mean, Mr. Rivera was handling Annabelle with his bare hands!  Now I figure that the stories of Annabelle trying to stab someone are probably apocryphal (there is one alleged case of that happening), but y'all wouldn't catch me dead bare-handing this little gal!

I've read a few too many ghost stories, okay???  I believe that items can indeed be cursed, and they're best avoided unless one has a priest in tow.  But what say y'all?  Was Dan Rivera a victim of Annabelle, or of rotten luck?

Creepy love,
RagingMoon1987

Like Ryan Hall always says...

..."Don't be scared, be prepared!"  Of course when some poor town is about to get creamed by an EF4 tornado Ryan's not that chill (Mayfield), but the advice is still good.  Prepare for a catastrophe as best you can, and don't freak out unless it actually happens.  I can only presume that the New York State Department of Emergency Services is trying to get the attention of children in light of the Texas floods, but their campaign for catching girls' attention is...pretty darn clever.  They're using stock images of the various American Girls, and the items they'll need for various emergencies.  Nanea...I think this one's funny because Nanea is a historical, but Nanea is gearing up for a heatwave, kinda like the one we had in Missouri during Barbie Summer.

I dunno about y'all, but I think the best way to combat a heatwave is to stay inside as much as you can.  If you've got functioning AC, that is.  Also, what's that rubber duckie for?  I like rubber duckies, but do any of y'all know what that is?

JLY #112 is gearing up for a thunderstorm, something that we here in the Midwest have to do often.

She's got just about everything she needs, except for a can opener for that canned food.  Believe it or not, when I was in kindergarten I had a calendar from the Weather Channel that had the most epic tornado photographs you ever saw (yep, kindergarten!), and in the back they included some advice for putting together a survival kit for a storm or a tornado.  For the canned goods they included the advice "Don't forget the can opener!"  As long as #112 remembers to grab that she should be good to go.

Lila has her flood gear. 

This is a regular flood we're talking about, one that everyone could see coming like the one my neck of the woods had in 2011.  In a flash flood Lila's umbrella and boots sadly won't cut it.  Still, Lila is about as ready for excessive rain and the accompanying power outages as she'll ever be, except maybe for that cute little car.  Even then if there are roads that aren't flooded she can use that to evacuate, so it's all good.

Summer's disaster is an interesting one, one that I've only experienced once.  She's facing a power outage.

I'd include some caveats with this one.  If it's winter, add a heavy coat and some blankets.  If it's summer, add some of the stuff Nanea's got.  And if you live in a city, arm yourself!  Riots have been known to accompany power outages.

Lastly, one of my favorite Truly Me dolls, JLY #101, is making sure her critter is cared for.

Oh yes, I can relate to this one.  As I've stated before, Malden, Missouri is located on a very busy rail line, and downtown is a VERY sharp curve.  Trains have to slow way down to negotiate this curve, and...well, research Lac-Megantic, Quebec and you'll understand why I often give freight trains the side-eye.  As for pets, I've got six cats, two dogs, and a parakeet, and in the event of an evacuation the car's gonna be like Noah's ark on wheels.  But ANYWAY, #101 has what she needs, including medicine and toys, and that all-important ID.  Also note that Ms. Whiskers apparently pees in a heart-shaped puddle, LOL.

I don't know if New York State's efforts are gonna be successful at grabbing the attention of children, but dolly lovers of both genders will definitely take heed.  And let's be honest, lots of girls like dolls, so they'll likely take heed too.  So it looks like the state's emergency department is on the right track here.

Love,

RagingMoon1987 

YouTube speaks: twenty-four "weird" dolls of the sixties and seventies

This one is another post inspired by YouTube; I'm always on YouTube, so I may make this a series.  Anyway, during one of my nightly YouTube benders I found this video about twenty-four dolls from the sixyies and seventies that might be considered odd, either back then or now.  I thought it was interesting and decided to issue my opinions, because my opinions are SOOOOOOO important!  The video can be found here, and spoilers:  some of 'em aren't that weird in my book.  Kinda like...

ROCK FLOWERS

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1971-1973

Rock Flowers were kinda Mattel's answer to Dawn, small dollhouse-sized dolls that wore bright, trendy-for-the-era clothes, bent their arms and legs, and danced on record players.  The dolls were music-themed and came with their own records, but otherwise they look pretty innocent to me.  The narrator wasn't a big fan of how their doll smelled, and the doll wouldn't sit up for tea parties either.  Legit gripes, both of those.  One of my "scented" dolls stunk up her whole box, and I HATE it when I want my dolls to sit up and they won't.  The narrator also critiqued the Rock Flowers' staring eyes, and I think that critique IS dumb because all dolls stare.  Smart Dolls, Mumpy Terri Lee, Cabbage Patch Kids, American Girls, Barbie, they all stare.  

WEIRD FACTOR:  2 out of 10.  I don't really find these weird at all, in fact.  They're dated a bit, yes, but then so are many dolls of this era.  My review on Heather can be seen here.

DUSTY/SKYE

COMPANY:  Kenner
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1974

Dusty and her friend Skye were sports-themed dolls, apparently designed to get girls active.  The duo could ski, play golf, and play tennis.  The narrator says that when their friend's Dusty did ski she made a "nails on a chalkboard" noise.  They also weren't in love with the dolls' faces...or their hair, or their clothes.  Dusty and Skye apparently had nice sets of joints, but those joints cracked louder than my knees do when I'm struggling to stand.  I wouldn't have liked that as a kid; when a doll's joint cracked too loud I was immediately afraid that I'd broken something.

WEIRD FACTOR:  6 out of 10.  I can only presume that Dusty and Skye were created to attract boys and tomboys...kids that don't usually play with dolls, period, even if the doll in question is sports-themed.  If my presumption is correct then the gimmick fell flat right out of the gate.  I personally also find the duo homely, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.  Tomboys aren't always plain of face, though they are often depicted as such.  Tam discusses Dusty here and Skye here.

JODY

COMPANY:  Ideal
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1975

Copper topped Jody, also called Jody the Country Girl, this doll represented country life in the Victorian era.  Kinda fitting, since Little House on the Prairie was big back then.  Once again, the narrator said their Jody smelled funny, had stiff hair, and stared.  She also could apparently look pretty menacing when wielding a pitchfork.  I personally love her period-accurate accessories,  though, especially her old-timey wall-mount telephone.  

WEIRD FACTOR:  3 out of 10.  Country living was kinda a thing in the seventies, and it still is to some extent today.  The only thing I don't really like about Jody is her skirt, which is impractically long for country life.  But then again, she does represent an era where skirts WERE that long.  Like the Rock Flowers, Jody is a hair dated, but that's all.  Tam also has featured this doll on her blog.

SMARTY PANTS

COMPANY:  Topper
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1971

This one is one I wasn't familiar with, and I'm already not in love with the name.  "Smarty pants" is usually thrown around in a derogatory manner.  I'd have liked the trivia factor, though.  Yes, Smarty asked trivia questions, and if you got it right she'd congratulate you.  The narrator called her "bossy" and stated that Smarty was not the most cuddly thing.  Worse, she asked multiplication questions, so that wouldn't have pleased me as a kid.  Multiplication was the bane of my existence when I was Smarty's target age.  Smarty also wore glasses that could throw light wrong, and she wasn't dressed very stylish like.  As a result, the narrator said she looked like a "mean teacher."  Oh, and guess where Smarty's batteries go???  Right up her butt!

WEIRD FACTOR:  5 out of 10.  She's cute, but who wants to be asked questions when they're trying to relax and play?  I don't, even if I do like trivia!  I had a laugh at the battery placement, though.

SWINGY

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1968

Our resident Paul Revere and the Raiders fan!  Swingy is a little go-go dancer, styled for the era, and I freaking love her.  The poor love is quite noisy when she moves, though, and apparently her hair would get caught in her joints too.  And guess what else?  The narrator reported that Swingy smelled funny.  Hell's bells, my mama's old Barbie smells funny too, kinda like crayons.  I think that was the norm for dolls of the era, because that's how plastic was and still is.

WEIRD FACTOR:  1 out of 10.  I don't find Swingy weird at all, but then I'm a bit biased because I like her.

CRISSY

COMPANY:  Ideal
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1969-1974

Ah, Crissy, of whom I'm very fond.  Crissy and company had hair that grew and could retract again, and if you were good with styling you could give her curls or updos or what-have-you.  Unfortunately, Narrator reports that in addition to feeling nasty right out of the package, their Crissy's hair would break and they'd be left holding shanks of hair.  Funny, I've not had that issue with my dolls' hair, but then I usually just braid it to avoid tangles.  I wonder if Narrator's doll was one of the first issue dolls; Crissy and Beth says that that hair was different from the hair of later dolls.  I've also gotta admit that pulling a doll's hair to make it grow sounds excruciating, but I can't think of any better way to get the hair out.  Hardcore readers of my blog will remember my main gripe with Crissy:  her eyes are ridiculously dark, darker even than the darkest American Girl eyes.  Mia, one of Velvet's friends, has the exact opposite effect; her eyes are a smidge bright.  And yet Mia is one of my favorites of the bunch due to her exuberant smile.

WEIRD FACTOR:  Mmmm...4 out of 10, mostly for the eyes.  Crissy's eyes are WAAAAY too dark.  I might bump the Look Around variants up to 6 out of 10, as the "look around" feature is kinda creepy.  Y'all can read my review of Crissy here; I also own two Velvets and a Cinnamon, and I'm keeping my eyes peeled for Tara.  Tam has a few of these dolls too; indeed, one of my Velvets belonged to her!  

THIRSTEE WALKER

COMPANY:  Horsman
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1964

Yes, that is a screenshot, LOL.  Several of these images are.  Thirstee Walker walked, drank, and cried, which is admittedly an unusual combo of gimmicks.  None of my walkers drink, for example.  The water proved problematic, as it sloshed around, leaked from the doll in various unusual places, smelled stale, and undoubtedly caused the doll to mildew.  I'd have kept water a million miles away from this gal.

WEIRD FACTOR:  6 out of 10.  She looks innocent enuff, but why make a doll drink when she can't pee it back out???

CHEERFUL TEARFUL

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1965

Cheerful's name says it all:  she could be happy or sad depending on how her arm was positioned.  She could cry real tears like Thirstee Walker, but she had a pee hole so the water wouldn't build up inside and get icky.  Like Dusty, Cheerful made a racket when her arm was moved, and sometimes she'd get stuck between happy and sad.  The smaller variant, Tiny Cheerful Tearful, had sunken eyes that attract dust, throw funny shadows, and make the doll look sick.  I'd know, because I own her!  My review of Tiny Cheerful Tearful can be found here, and if you watch the video, you may notice that one of the pictures of Tiny looks familiar. 

WEIRD FACTOR:  6 out of 10.  That shifting face is admittedly a little freaky.  Tiny Cheerful Tearful also looks a little ill with those hollow eyes.

BABY FIRST STEP

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1964

Another walker, though this young lady walks the same way Swingy dances:  by shuffling her feet and swinging her arms.  Like Swingy she's noisy when she walks, and the narrator claimed that this doll could spontaneously walk by herself.  Knowing mechanical items like I do, there's probably some truth to that.

WEIRD FACTOR:  1 out of 10, just like Swingy.  The two could be sisters, except that they don't look the same in the face.  Tam has discussed this doll on her blog.

CHATTY CATHY 

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1959-1965

Chatty Cathy?  MY Chatty Cathy, weird?  Well...if you ask my sister then she's worse than weird.  Most doll fans are at least vaguely familiar with this doll, either because they lived in the era, because they saw the GEICO commercial, or because they like The Twilight Zone.  As for weird...well, Cathy doesn't blink when she talks (most dolls don't), her mech made an ominous grinding sound when activated, and...yeah, I can see why some folks would be a bit weirded out by Chatty Cathy.  Nonetheless, to date she is Mattel's second most popular doll, behind only Barbie.

WEIRD FACTOR:  I'll give her a 5 out of 10.  I've gotta admit that it's freaky how she stares and talks without blinking.  To be fair, I don't like that about Amazing Maddie or my other talking dolls either.  Furthermore, I always thought it was odd that some of these dolls declared "I hurt myself!"  Another of my chatterboxes, Teenie Talk, says something similar, but she then asks me to kiss it, so it makes a bit more sense.  Big surprise, Tam also has a few of these, and two of 'em have pigtails.  I think the ones with pigtails are cute.

CHARMIN' CHATTY

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1963-1964

Chatty Cathy's sister of sorts, Charmin' relied on records to speak, and that right there is a smidge problematic.  Fans of old vinyls know how records can get scratched, and when that happens they skip or repeat.  This sometimes happened to Charmin' Chatty!  She also was a little goofy in the face, to the point that some folks think she's ugly (I think she's hilarious).  I will say that Charmin' isn't as quiz-kid as Smarty Pants is; one of her records has her making animal sounds, which kids love to do.  So Charmin' had a goofy side.

WEIRD FACTOR:  I'll give her a 4 out of 10, a little lower than Chatty Cathy.  She doesn't blink when she talks either, but as I said above few dolls can do that.  The skipping records are my main reason for her landing a 4.  Once again, please take a look at Tam's doll.  She's missing her glasses, but she's still cute.

TINY TEARS

COMPANY:  American Character
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1950-1965

One of the more well-known vintage dolls, Tiny Tears is a crier and could wet her diapers as well.  Narrator says that this doll's voice sounded too realistic at times (so do Cry Babies!) and that she'd go off at random sometimes.  If not properly dried her tears would gather dust and make the poor poppet look unwell.  Hmmm...I never had that problem with the handful of criers that I played with.  She apparently also reeked after being fed.

WEIRD FACTOR:  2 out of 10.  She's a crier, no worse than the Cry Babies of today, though as with Thirstee Walker I'd be concerned with mildew over time.  Thus why I keep water away from Ayla and Kathy Cry Baby, even though they were meant to have water inside them.  Tam has this one too, and hers is really cute.

BETSY WETSY

COMPANY:  Ideal
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1937-1983, give or take

Killecrankie, I had no idea that Betsy Wetsy had been around that long!  Narrator says that this doll retained water like Thirstee Walker (and probably Tiny Tears) did, and predictably that started to smell after awhile.  Her hair could also turn green from the chlorine in the water.  Interesting, I knew that could happen to polar bears, but apparently it can happen to dolls too!  Narrator didn't add that unlike Tiny Tears, Betsy's nose runs when she cries, adding another orifice to be cleaned. 

WEIRD FACTOR:  4 out of 10.  She's a crier like Tiny Tears, but the runny nose bumps the weird factor up a bit.  Yeah, we've all had a runny nose from time to time, but it's not a common feature on our dolls unless they're little sickies, which Betsy is not.

BABY ALIVE 

COMPANY:  Kenner
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1973-present day (sort of)

We're talking the original one here!  Baby Alive is still very much alive in the present day, but boy howdy, has she changed!  Y'all have seen my little trio, and they look nothing like the doll of the seventies.

The original Baby Alive ate more-or-less real baby food, and she could drink from her bottle as well.  Our narrator hero states that feeding the doll AND changing her diaper were jobs for a biohazard team, and her chewing and sucking mechanisms made ominous grinding noises.  Having seen the food, I have to agree that it doesn't look the most appetizing in the world, and I wouldn't want to change that diaper either.

WEIRD FACTOR:  6 out of 10 for a doll that eats colored sludge and calls it food.  Even Snackin' Sara's Play-Doh turdlets looked more like something a doll could eat.

FLATSIES

COMPANY:  Ideal
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1969-1973

Flatsies, Flatsies, they're flat and that's that!  I thought that these dolls were...well, flat, but it turns out that there's more to them than that.  Flatsies could apparently be inflated like little balloons, or little blow-up dolls, take your pick.  They didn't always inflate fully, and over time their air would leak out, which Narrator said was freaky because of the noise it made.  Hmmm...the Flatsies I'm familiar with don't inflate.  They just are...well, FLAT, with legs and arms that bend like Tutti and Todd dolls.  They live in picture frames and thus can double as a wall hanging, so that's something.  Score one for storage!

WEIRD FACTOR:  Ohhhhhh...5 out of 10.  They're cute, they're flexible, they've got rooted hair...and they're flat.  That's kinda strange, but not outrageously so.

BABY SECRET

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1965

Narrator's frequent comparisons of Baby Secret to a stupid spy didn't contribute to my enjoyment of this segment.  Baby Secret DOES whisper secrets, but they're innocent little messages that normally wouldn't give kids the all-overs.  Now granted, the whispering voice does freak me out a bit, and some of her phrases sound a mite R-rated to someone with a dirty mind (I admit it, LOL).  Baby Secret also has a mouth that moves, just like Teenie Talk and Baby See 'n' Say do.  Some find that disturbing, but I think it's cute.  The doll's eyes look ever so slightly pissed though, making Baby Secret look like she's about to whisper "Go jump off a cliff."

WEIRD FACTOR:  5 out of 10.  Talking dolls are nothing new, but the whisper sounds a mite sinister, and the doll looks like she might be a biter.  Kinda like Teenie Talk, the same one who asks me to kiss her finger.

I love Teenie, but I never have fully trusted her.  She looks like she'd like to bite a plug outta my arm.  Hmmm, I need to give that dress a bath.

SPORT AND SHAVE KEN

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1980

Ken had already had facial hair by the time this guy came around; Now Look Ken had fuzzy stickers that allowed him to wear a mustache, sideburns, or channel his inner Barry Gibb.  Whatever you wanted; I thought it was a riot, by the way, that Now Look Ken's commercial equated a mustache with a villain.  But we're talking about Sport and Shave Ken, whose beard came from this gommy black marker.  You drew on his face and then shaved it off with a razor that didn't actually cut anything.  Now, if you had a man in your life that wore a beard (like I did), then you knew that beards require a fair amount of maintenance, just like the hair on our heads, and you knew what razors were for.  So a Ken with a razor doesn't weird me out much, but the gloppy paint that made this particular doll's beard was kinda gross.  The narrator agreed.

WEIRD FACTOR:  4 out of 10.  The marker looked weird when it was in place.  Indeed, this is the only Ken I've seen with facial hair that looked better without.  Shaving Fun Ken looks amazing with a beard...drat it, I miss being able to take my dolls outside like Tam and Miss Emily do!!!  As an aside, Jenjoy notes that this Ken was the only one with his particular head mold.  Kinda cool!

SALLY SECRETS 

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1992-1994

Sally is a glitzy toddler doll from the nineties...wait a minute, I thought we were doing the seventies and earlier.  But as I've stated in the past Sally has a number of artsy little items that were trendy in the nineties, and she carries them on various parts of her body.  Her shoes and earrings hide little stamps, and stickers come out of...wait a minute, her body???  Yep.  I gotta admit that that's kinda weird.  Sally's sister/friend (I'm not sure which) Penni Secrets carries her stickers in her hair bow, which makes a tiny bit more sense.  I bet Penni's bow would be a heavy one though, and I know of old that heavy hair bows are extremely uncomfortable.

WEIRD FACTOR:  6 out of 10.  The child does have stickers coming out of her chest, after all.  I love this doll, though!

MY PRETTY BALLERINA 

COMPANY:  Tyco
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:

Also not an oldie, but she is highly similar to Dancerina and Dancerella, who ARE products of the Me Decade.  My Pretty Ballerina sometimes appears on lists of glitzy toddler dolls, and...I guess she could count as such.  Narrator states that this doll danced semi-on her own, and she'd continue to do so after her music stopped, which they found kinda disturbing.  I'll add in my two cents and say that the doll looks a smidge stoned.  Since she's a doll My Pretty Ballerina also looks robotic when she moves, but...well, she's a doll!  They don't move exactly like we do.

WEIRD FACTOR: 2 out of 10.  I think she's cool.

HUGO, MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES

COMPANY:
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:

Okay, now THIS one made me raise an eyebrow.  Hugo is actually a puppet and is geared towards little boys, and he has facial features that one can attach to make him look like someone/something else.  He's even got SCARS!!!  I love the concept, but Narrator says that it was hard to get the pieces on straight, and they left a sticky residue.  I wonder if that sticky stuff didn't wear off after awhile, and I know darn good and well that the sticky stuff gathered debris with time.  All sticky stuff does.  Narrator also notes that Hugo is weird-looking even without his extra features, with them big ol' eyes that stare.  

WEIRD FACTOR:  8 out of 10.  Hugo is a very interesting concept, but he's still pretty odd to look at.

BABY SOFT SOUNDS

COMPANY:  Fisher-Price
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1979

According to Narrator this doll recorded your voice, but the playback wasn't great.  She oddly could pick up on conversations while one thought she was off, and she also smelled like "old batteries," as the video put it.  Now the dolls that I've seen make no mention of an internal recording device, but they were out-of-box so I have no way of knowing for sure.

WEIRD FACTOR:  Mmmm...3 out of 10.  To me she's no weirder than Little Miss Echo.

BLESS YOU BABY TENDER LOVE 

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1975

Bless You Baby Tender Love.  She looks pretty innocent, if a little orange.  Bless You Baby Tender Love sneezes when her belly is squeezed, and because she takes a bottle her sneezes are realistically wet.  Narrator stated that they owned this doll, and in addition to sneezing the little doll sounds like she's wheezing too (which she does).  They felt bad for this doll because she was always sick and couldn't be made better.

WEIRD FACTOR:  7 out of 10.  Sick dolls are nothing new, but usually they show some other symptom besides the sneeze, and a lot of 'em alternate between periods of illness and periods of wellness.  Tam thinks this one is weird too, by the way, and...well, obviously I think she's kinda weird, or I wouldn't have given her a 7 out of 10!  I intend to review this doll eventually, but life keeps getting in the way.

GROWING UP SKIPPER

COMPANY:  Mattel
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  1975

The infamous Growing Up Skipper, the doll who goes through puberty with a twist of her arm.  Skip and her friend Ginger were both in on it, and the backlash against these dolls was so great that Ginger never appeared again.  Anyway, Narrator notes that like several of these other dolls Skip smelled funny, and I think she clicked, and sometimes she'd get stuck between her short/child self and her tall/teenage self.  Poor child, sounds like she was the type who got tall and awkward as she grew.  I don't know which is worse, being chubby during the gawky stage or being tall with big klutzy feet.  I was chubby, my best friend got tall and gangly, and we both HATED it.

WEIRD FACTOR:  7 out of 10.  Puberty is a natural, normal part of life, but I'll admit that a doll that goes through it is kinda odd.  Oh, and by the way, My Scene revisited the growing up gimmick with the Growing Up Glam line.  I'd rank them the same, 7 out of 10 on the weird scale. 

TUB AND TOOT 

COMPANY:  Toys R Us
YEARS OF PRODUCTION:  2014

This doll is modern, not a seventies thing, but otherwise she belongs on this list.  Why???  Because she FARTS IN HER BATHTUB!!!  Let's be real, we've all farted in the bathtub at some point, and the racket it makes is hilarious.  But...is it really worth it to make a doll that does it?  I mean, this doll is completely innocent-looking, but press that button on her belly and...oh, not only does she make the noise, but she also apparently blows bubbles with her butt.  Sigh...I have no other words.

WEIRD FACTOR:  9 out of 10.  What the actual heck???  A farting doll???  Miss Emily discussed this one once, and she too was pretty weirded out.

I'm surprised that Saucy wasn't on the list!  Blythe isn't either, and she was so weird that peeps didn't buy her.  Neither of them are as weird as Hugo with his funny faces, and even he's not as weird as Tub and Toot, but still...I'd rank Saucy a 7 out of 10 and Blythe an 8 out of 10.  Keep in mind that I'm a big fan of both dolls.

Other good candidates for the list would've been Susie Sad-Eyes, Emerald the Enchanting Witch, Little Miss No-Name, and Joey Stivic, the last of whom was...don't quote me, but I think he was one of the first mass-produced anatomically correct boy dolls.  His commercial made a big deal of this aspect.  Furthermore, I don't think All In the Family was geared towards kids, not with the language Archie Bunker used!  I think All In the Family is a riot myself, but then I'm 37 and won't be confused or horrified by the situations on the show.  Thus I think the Joey Stivic doll probably was way over the heads of seventies kids.  Now, disclaimer: I mean no shade towards ANY of these dolls, not even Tub and Toot.  Indeed, Little Miss No-Name is very high on my wish list, and I own several of the others already.  But y'all gotta admit, they're not your average dolls.

What say y'all?  Do you know of any little weirdoes that belong on this list?

Cheers,
RagingMoon1987